


Alone

by lessthanzer



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hurt, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lessthanzer/pseuds/lessthanzer
Summary: Tony is alone.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Alone

The sound of the wrench he was holding moments before hitting the floor boomed around the walls of the workshop and his head, hammering into his skill till the pain was all he could feel. He reached out grease covered fingers and gripped the edge of the desk in front of him for leverage, squeezing till his knuckles turned a sickly white and his fingertips grew numb. He couldn’t see, the once busy space surrounding him turning to a constant blur of nothing as the booming in his head dialed to one hundred.

Not now anytime but now I’ve been doing so well-

The chest pains came then, the intense pressure of his heart thudding behind his ribs attempting to break through its cage and out onto the floor beneath his work. He was desperate. He couldn’t breathe, the feeling of suffocating in his own space invading his mind. He needed to run, he needed to-

It took a lot to break him, to damage him to the point where anyone could see through his playboy facade. He was as transparent as they come. His dad was the first. He tried his best to do that, hitting him with distasteful comments from his unnatural sexual preference to the way he styled his hair. Tony was strong, he could handle a few slaps and lashes, physically and mentally. 

He thought the death of Maria and then Jarvis would have broken him, sent him off the rails for good. Then the responsibility of Stark Industries came down on him and everything seemed to bury itself on its own, taking his happiness with it. He was good at playing an act, covering up scars and bruises with large charity donations and gala’s filled with men and women willing to take Tony to bed. He could distract himself with work and sex, work and more sex.

That was until Iron Man, till his godfather made an order for his head on a stick with his brain oozing from his ears. He escaped death more times than he should after that, people creeping out of every corner with some deep rooted reason to take Tony out for good.

He didn’t think anything could break him, he would applaud them if they tried. His walls were too high, too strong for any force to knock down with multiple hits. His walls may be in ruins but there was still that part left that no one could break, no matter how many times they went at it with harsh words and bruising punches. 

Then he met Peter.

Peter was everything he didn’t want, couldn’t afford to keep and have. Peter held him when he woke from a bad nightmare, telling him over and over that as long as he is holding him it’s going to be alright and that he’s safe. Peter brought food and water and the occasional self care package filled with his favourite scents and some sort of movie rental even when Tony had been down in the workshop for days, knowing that pulling him from his work would only make him fall harder. Peter understood, anyone else wouldn’t leave till he left with them. He was patient with Tony, so patient. He took him down when he needed to give up control, telling him how good he is for Peter and how lucky Peter is to witness someone as beautiful as he is.

He was everything and that’s what scared him.

Peter didn’t deserve this. He was young, far too young to put up with years worth of trauma and his nightmares that always woke him with his screaming and whimpering. He didn’t deserve to put up with his broken excuse of a boyfriend disappearing downstairs for hours because he didn’t feel like doing anything. He didn’t deserve Peter and the sooner he realises and leaves like everyone else eventually does, the sooner Tony can finally say he has nothing to live for and-

His legs folded beneath him, the sweat on his hands causing him to lose his safe grip of his desk. He fell for what felt like hours, finally hitting the cold concrete and letting his head bang against the edge of the table, blood already pouring. He wanted to run, scream,escape the pounding in his brain and the ringing in his ears. He needed to pull his heart from behind his ribs and straight out of his chest, letting it pulse in his grip as his eyes started to close, peace finally taking over him.

He gripped the front of his shirt where the arc reactor used to shine, ready to fulfill his wish when he felt it. That soft touch on his tense shoulder, the same touch he feels late at night when he had been stirring in his sleep. He turned his heads, tears glossing over his brown eyes when he saw the concerned look in Peter’s poor ones.

I am so so sorry I-

Peter smiled softly as he slowly grabbed his arm, pulling it away from his chest and letting it fall to his side, He grabbed Tony’s cheeks with both hands, tears starting to pour down them as he felt the shake in his bones worsen. Peter just kissed each tear that fell from his lashes, looking into Tony’s eyes at all times

It’s okay I’m okay he’s here Peter’s-

Not here.

The snap happened five years ago. Peter hasn’t been here for five years. He hasn’t been here to help him or let him know when to eat and when to sleep. He hasn’t been here to kiss Tony’s worries away and help him through his nightmares and panic attacks. 

Peter hasn’t...he’s not-

He curled in on himself, not bothering to pick up the forgotten wrench still sitting on the floor next to his still head puddled in blood or to turn the heating up. He pulled his sleeves down and over his hands and wrapped them around his knees, sobbing into the fabric before laying down on the cold floor and letting sleep pass over him.

Tony’s alone.

Tony finally broke.

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote feeling my lowest but I liked it enough to publish so thank you so much for reading.


End file.
